shady y arentu loking. y? i need u 2 see

m,ansiob shady here

i amm cat.

15th Entry

Readers, a lot has happened since my last post.

The mansion is... well, things aren't exactly going as we had hoped. I haven't been able to post lately due to all the craziness... I'll try to get back to updating you as often as possible.

Everyone has been busy around the house, and here are a couple of reasons why.

Firstly, Mystery has gone to find the Executor and save her niece... If you follow the creep's blog, you already know he has her. If Shady had been here, maybe we could have stopped Mystery from going alone and sent the two together but... Mystery decided that this was something she had to do alone. I wish I could see inside Mystery's head, to know what she's thinking and if she is still alright, but we all have to trust that she is doing the right thing by hunting down the Executor alone... I pray that she is safe...

I had to resist chasing after her, but I realized that with Mystery gone I'd have to step up and take on some of the responsibilities. All I can do is wish her well. She left us with a great deal of supplies and notes on spells and such, and some items that should help us if we should run into trouble... Magic weapons and things like that. Instructions on how to use them... I don't know anything about this stuff, but I think we'll manage. The wards are still up, and she left us a bunch of information on everything that she has already done to protect the mansion. It's a lot to cover, and I don't want to disclose too much information to the public, but she definitely did us a huge favor before she left.

Mystery, I hope to see you again soon... You always have us here, waiting for you to come home to your family. I wish you hadn't left so soon, I feel like I was just starting to really get to know you. Thanks for trying to cheer me up and keep me going whenever I was falling into an emotional gutter. Please don't get yourself hurt.

Who knows what's going to happen now... All I know is that we're going to do this together, we're going to figure this out.

Next big thing... I'm a father. DeMii gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, and I can't describe how beautiful they both are. I love you, DeMii, and I love our daughter.

It is a blessing in itself that DeMii survived the pregnancy and the birthing. I... I am so thankful to still have you, especially in all of this...

I wish I could write my emotions about all of this onto this paper, but its... immense. I don't know where to start. Despite the abrupt disappearance of Mystery and all of the other craziness, I'm in a state of profound happiness...

This is also another reason I couldn't chase after Mystery, I need to stay and protect DeMii and all the others...

As for dealing with MASC, I'm gonna try and take over where Mystery left off. I'm not nearly as good as Mystery at negotiations and such, but I can try my best until Shady comes back and we can figure this all out.

I typed the rest of this post up last night, and I'm inserting it below.

I'll update you on things related to the entire group later.

Until then,
-Doctor Proctor

-- More details on my past --

Last entry I briefly touched on my past. Today, I'd like to discuss it a little bit more.

It's obvious that some kind of evil was connected to the story about the skinny man who ate children. A supposedly innocent campfire horror story that went wildly wrong. Something happened after that story was told, some monster was summoned into my life. That creature is what most people call the Slender Man. I call him by a few different names, most of which I learned at a young age. These nicknames have stuck throughout the years, and are goofy or (depending on my mood) vulgar.

Daddy Long-Legs. The Anorexic Freak. Mr. Clean. Hangman. The Abductor. White Fingers. Faceless. Tree Spirit. Michael Jackson.

Yeah, lots of fun names. I don't know where a lot of  them originated from... Some of them were just jokes, while some of them are more legitimate than others.

I always get a headache when I start writing about him and my past. It would be funny if it wasn't so painful...

So, anyways, now you know how it started. A couple weeks after my first encounter with the Slender Man, my parents pulled me out of the pack. They started worrying for my safety, but I still saw him sometimes. He was watching me from my backyard once. Looking back now, I wasn't exactly scared of him. I was more... fascinated... And I was confused. I wanted to know who he was, but I didn't want to have to ask him. I would always tell my parents when I saw him, but he'd always disappear before they could see him...

14th Entry

Mystery is gone, and nobody is happy about it. MASC is on edge, and I'm worried for her. I wouldn't say Mystery and I are extremely close in comparison to Shady and Demii, but I'm afraid for her safety and as soon as we realized she had disappeared I went to the edge of the woods to look for her. Something freaky is going on...

He was waiting in the woods. I saw him out of the corner of my eye, and stopped myself from passing the wards to search for Mystery. Only an idiot would walk out into danger like that, and I still remembered the beating I'd gotten last time I had made an idiotic mistake. Demii (I keep having to remind myself not to call her Lullaby anymore) wouldn't be happy if I went and got myself torn up by the creep in the suit... I forced myself to walk back to the mansion. A headache set in as I was walking away from him.

I don't know why he was waiting for me, and to be honest it scares me. Does it have to do with Mystery going into the woods to look for Shadowchild (or whatever it is called)? I told the first MASC agent I saw about Slender Man being nearby, and the mansion filled with activity. By the time MASC started patrolling the area, he had disappeared. Was he trying to tell me something, or threaten me? I still can't tell. He's been showing up a lot, lately.

Mystery is still out there, and as much as I want to search for her I know that she wouldn't want us putting ourselves at risk for her... I feel useless just sitting around, though. MASC is doing who-knows-what to find her, and I've been trying to help out as much as possible but... really, there isn't much I can do.

I've got a lot of questions suddenly. I wish Shady was around...

I might as well write about my past while I'm at it.

Where to start...? My life was a lie up until the day I awoke from an elaborate dream. My life might STILL be a lie, but what good does it do acting paranoid?

When I was a small child, I was exposed to Slender Man by a friend. He was one of my close buddies in my cub-scout group, and on outings he would always scare the other kids with his campfire horror stories. His stories never bothered me until the night I saw something in the woods... I don't know if it was Slender Man himself or a proxy, but I know that there was something watching me and my friends at night. Weeks later, my friend told us the story of a slender man who, no matter what he eats, could not gain weight, so he eats children in an attempt to feed his endless hunger. Needless to say, bad things started happening after that story...

Be back later, I'm going to go see Demii.
-DoctorProctor

13th Entry

Dear Readers,

I've got a couple of things say in this post... Where to begin is what I'm struggling with.

I guess I might as well start with Lullaby... who isn't actually Lullaby, in reality. She came out about being someone named Dollmaker, but now she has asked that we all refer to her as Demii. I'm very confused. I'm not upset or mad, I don't feel betrayed or deceived... I just wish I had all the facts straight. Demii and I have been talking and I've been trying to figure it all out in my head, but thinking about it hurts. I don't understand it, and I'm worried about her. I'm worried for her safety, for what is going on inside of her. I don't want to see her hurt. I promise, Demii, I'll protect you. If you need me, please don't hesitate to ask. I'm here for you. I'm here for you entirely. I love you, even if you aren't Lullaby. 

Next thing I have to talk about is these dreams... They are rough. I don't know what's wrong with me or what's going on inside my head, but I can't stop seeing theAdvocate when I close my eyes... and that's not the worst part. I keep having vivid dreams about Thuggee, as well. I don't know how those two are connected, but for some reason they are always waiting for me behind my eyelids... 

I've been worried about what's going on in my subconscious, so I took the dreams to Mystery for advice. She thinks I might be developing some-kind of unhealthy obsession... That could be a possibility in the context of theAdvocate, but I don't have a beef with Thuggee. He's never done anything to me, and I've only glanced at his blog once or twice since he launched the attack on the mansion. Part of me wonders if I have some kind of subconscious rage against the freak because he attacked my friends in the DAS... but.... I don't know for sure.

In the end, its just another thing to worry about. Mystery is concerned, and suggested I talk to one of the MASC psychologists... I'm not happy.  I... I don't want to deal with psychologists again. My head is hurting, and I'm not in the mood to think about it. 

I have a bad past with psychologists... but I have a lot of bad things in my past. I'm afraid that these dreams will develop into something more, though... I need to talk to Demii about this. I can't make the decision on my own. 

What is wrong with me. What is wrong with my brain? 

I'll be back to write more tomorrow. I managed to develop a headache from writing this post. 

- Doctor Proctor

Quick Update

I ended up at MASC's base after the faceless creeper encounter, and I don't remember much. I slept a lot, but near the end of my short visit something awful almost took place. Those pigs at MASC tried to force Lullaby to have an abortion! 

Um... I don't think I've mentioned this publicly on my blog yet, so I'll do it now. Lullaby is pregnant, and... the baby is mine. We... rushed into things when theAdvocate had us in his basement... but I don't regret it, and I'm going to help Lullaby through this. I think I might be in love, and I'm not gonna leave her with this burden because I'm afraid of facing the consequences of my actions. I'm going to be a father. It's a weird feeling, but I am gonna continue to protect Lullaby and our baby until the day that I die. Which, could be sooner than later...

The only problem is that the baby doesn't seem to be growing like a normal baby... I don't understand what's going on, honestly, so I won't try to explain it. Everything is so crazy right now, I haven't been able to get everything straight. Check out Mystery's blog for answers.

When the MASC doctors tried to force Lullaby to go through with the abortion, I tried to stop them. When they brought her to see me before the procedure, I tried to keep them from her. I failed... They sedated me. I don't remember much. It... I feel like a screw up. I'm useless if I can't protect the people I care about.

I woke up back at the mansion. Apparently, Mystery did what I couldn't and saved Lullaby before those monsters could do anything to her. On her way out, she managed to check me out as well. I'm still kinda bruised up from the attack, but I can get around pretty well.

Something weird to note for future study... My body healed up unusually fast. I'm curious to if this is somehow related to my past, or maybe MASC has some type of magic medicine they've created... If I could get my hands on some of that, it would be very useful...

Last note: I'll try to get to the topic of my past uploaded tomorrow... I don't know why things always get so crazy whenever I bring it up.

Till then,

- Doctor Proctor

12th Entry

This is going to be a short entry...

I'm in bad shape. Where do I start?

First of all, last night was a mess. Lulls and I were together, laying next to each other, when she abruptly slipped out of bed and left. I was worried for her, and well... to be honest, I was afraid to fall asleep. I can't stop dreaming about Thuggee and theAdvocate... I'm freaking out about it.

Anyways, I climbed out of bed, slipped on some jeans over my boxers and followed her. This is a little bit awkward to be posting on the internet... but... At least I don't sleep completely naked like some guys.

I followed her down the hall and into the kitchen, and watched as she was harassed by some pig from MASC. I know it probably wasn't the smartest thing, but he ended up calling her fat and I just couldn't hold myself back. I posted about how angry I was... now this unsuspecting MASC sicko was experiencing it first hand.

I tapped him on the shoulder, getting his attention. Then, the fists started flying. It was pretty crazy how fast it was over... I guess all that working out from before theAdvocate kidnapped me really has improved the effectiveness of my hand-to-hand combat training.

I took Lullaby to her room, but leaving the MASC agent in the kitchen. There'd be huge consequences for what I did, and I was still pretty steamed so I told Lullaby that I was going to go for a walk and... I made a huge mistake.

Walking shirtless was only part of my stupidity. I was so angry, I lost track of how far I was walking and... This is where things get bad.

He was in the woods with me. I had wandered too far outside of the mansion's wards... Whatever Mystery had done to protect the mansion from him and his servants, I had stepped out from under the umbrella of protection.

I saw him, and I knew... I knew that whatever force had lured me out to the woods, whatever anger had pumped my legs forward had doomed me. I don't know what happened next, but somehow I survived his attack. I... I remember the pain. I blacked out.

Next thing I remember was laying on my back, staring at the stars as blood trickled from my forehead into my eye. I was in the mansion's backyard again. Somehow, I had managed to get back into the shielded area surrounding the mansion.. I... I'm lucky to be alive. I'm still so lucky to be alive. I don't know why I'm alive.

I crawled to the mansion, my body groaning and aching.

I think... I think I have a few broken ribs. My forehead has a gash in it from... from who knows what! I had a branch from a tree piercing my lower thigh... I don't know how I managed to ignore the pain while I dragged myself to the mansion. Let's not even mention the severe bruising on my chest, back and abdominal muscles. I've never seen my skin so discolored...

The most humiliating part is how I passed out a couple feet from the mansion, and I can't remember who or what or how I got back into the mansion.

Lullaby... Lullaby I'm so sorry. I'm an idiot. He got me... He was waiting for me.

Why? WHY? Why does this always happen?

I just woke up a little while ago. Can someone please fill in the blanks for me? Were there any witnesses? Mystery, what's going on outside my room? What's going on with MASC? Why hasn't Lullaby been allowed to visit me? Help... I'm in the dark. Am I under quarantine or something? Is it because I brawled with that agent?

Please.
-DoctorProctor

11th Entry

I'm so moody. I can't figure out how I'm supposed to feel... I'm caught in between the lines of what is real and what is fake. Heck, if I'm not sure if the DAS is real, or if this blog is real, or if Shady or Lullaby or Mystery are real, or if I'm even sitting at a computer in reality... This is my life.

My life is a lie. Slender Man is the only thing that I know, in fact, is not a lie. I'm hurt, and confused, and angry, and sad, and depressed, and excited, and sad, and... filled with an urge to kill. If you follow Mystery's blog, you probably already know about what happened with MASC... The background check... My family is dead. I... don't know what to say. This feeling... hurts. My stomach is flipping. Whenever I think about it, I can't even comprehend the possibility of them being gone... My mom is dead, poisoned. My dad was killed in a car accident... I don't remember any of this happening. How did the Slender Man keep me from finding out...? It was only a week or so ago that I  remember seeing my father's face...I'm still infected. I'm still living in an illusion. I thought I was free... but I'm still seeing life through stained glass. He's still manipulating me like a puppet.

As for theAdvocate, I know it was him. He had to have been the proxy that killed my mom. The report said that someone slipped cyanide into her drink, if I remember correctly. He left his calling card, and... and I'm just finding out about this now. I'm... I'm not a violent person unless I have to be. I don't seek out trouble, but I promise that I am going to kill theAdvocate next time he shows himself.

Which could be sooner than we know. Shady is his new fascination, I'm sure he'll be watching her.

Things are... crazy. I thought things would be different, and I'll admit they are.... but Slender Man is still as much as a pest as he was before. I keep having dreams about my family...and I had a dream last night that really really disturbs me. It was the attack... Thuggee's attack on the mansion. I don't know why I was dreaming about it... but I saw things and... I think I might need to take this to Mystery. She knows more about magic and spirits than I do. Maybe the dreams have some kind of relative importance.

Lullaby is the only person I've been talking much to, recently. Mystery tried to comfort me and make small talk the day I found out about my family...but I've basically kept to myself since then. Everyone seems so busy with MASC that I've tried to keep out of the way. I haven't been able to write very much, lately. I feel wrecked. My eyes hurt, and part of me wants to sleep... but part of me wants to avoid dreaming, and knows that sleeping won't fix the pain I'm feeling. Lullaby has really helped though, she is a comfort... I...

I'm an idiot. I'm slipping up, all of the emotional crap I'm going through his influencing my judgement and it's a little scary. I don't know what I'd do if I wasn't with everyone at the mansion...

How does Slender Man do it? How does he manipulate our lives so brilliantly, without leaving any sign or evidence that can be used against him? It's like... he puppeteers us, and then slips away into the shadows to avoid the public eye. Of course, you have YouTube Channels and videos that claim to have caught him on camera... but it's so hard to know what is real and what isn't.

TheAdvocate is somehow tied to my past. I don't have absolute proof, but I just.... I have a feeling that he's been stalking me my entire life, doing Slender Man's dirty deeds for him. I'm just surprised that he never harassed me until after Shady broke into my house. Does he know about our past? I wonder if he is as in the dark as I am. Its almost humorous... I think Slender Man withholds information from his own followers. What is his game? What does he gain from deceiving his servants as well as his victims?

He's like a freaking anorexic puppeteer (satire).

I don't know if anything I'm doing in this life is real or not... I remember reading somewhere that "when you don't know what is real and what isn't, you should cling to what you know is absolute truth, no matter what it is".

 I'd rather cling to a possible illusion, like Lullaby or this blog, then cling to Slender Man. No matter how concrete he is, I will NEVER cling to that monster for my sanity. That's a total contradiction in itself.

I'm going to try and bring this post to a close soon. When I get angry, I can ramble on and on about something and I don't want to write a novel on accident. I'll finish up by saying a few things:

1. I won't be asking very many questions on this blog in the future... Now that I'm with the DAS, I can usually just ask them directly. If I learn something important from them, I'll post it here for the readers.
2. I intend to start writing about my past life in the next post. I'm sorry its taken so long to get to.
3. If you have any information about theAdvocate or about anything that might be relevant to what I've talked about, I'd appreciate it if you posted it in a comment.
4. Stay alive, and find yourself a group like the DAS to join if you are being openly stalked by the Slender Man or any of his goons.
5. I'll try to be back on this week to make another post.

Until then,
-DoctorProctor

P.S. No matter what MASC says, I will always be (almost) a doctor.

10th Entry

Hey, Readers

I think an update is needed. First off, MASC is investigating my background as we speak. I have trouble believing that the government would even be slightly interested in me... but this group is far from normal. Perhaps they'll find something involving the Slender Man that interests them; as long as I don't have to deal with them breathing down my neck and shoving me around I'm fine with them snooping through my past. Probably not much to find, considering the fact that I was basically a zombie for the first 18 or so years of my life. 

I don't know much about MASC besides what I've heard from the other people at the mansion, which isn't much. I've been really distracted since arriving, so I've kind of been avoiding too much social interaction. Mr. Sunshine, Shady's.... pet... has been giving me the evil eye since I've arrived.. He's been acting super territorial over Shady, it's a little unnerving. I can't tell which is worse; MASC or Sunshine. At least Shady likes Mr. Sunshine. Nobody in the mansion has any good words to say about the government organization. 

Hopefully, this thing with Mr. Sunshine is only temporary. I'm guessing he's just paranoid after all of the crap with Thuggee. 

Right now, I'm just sitting around waiting for things to get rolling. I don't really know what to do... I'll probably walk around the mansion and find something to do. Maybe I can help fix some of the damage from the attack,  if not I guess I could try and spark up a conversation with someone in the mansion. I'll see how all this goes.

Until MASC is done with the background check, I don't know how much liberty I'll have to freely walk around the mansion grounds. Mystery is pretty good at negotiating with them about the restrictions they put on us, but I don't think I wanna push the limits too much.

I'm pretty tired, I'll probably just go to bed if I can't find anything to do. 

Thanks for reading, I'll update again later when my head isn't so foggy.

-DoctorProctor

9th Entry

I... don't know where to start.

I hate you, "Slender Man". I hate you so much... Every time I get my head on straight you throw something at me, you sick monster. Whatever the heck you're supposed to be... I hate everything about you. Every fiber in my being hates you. Part of me wishes you would just kill me and be done with it... I don't know what's worse. Living my life in fear of you or dying by your hand... or whatever you have on the end of your freaking toothpick arms.

Is this the first time I've ever said your name on my blog before? Maybe. It feels good, even though I know it might catch your attention. I'm sick of trying to avoid the bush.

TheAdvocate kidnapped me, if anyone was wondering where I've been. This is the first time I've been able to use the internet in a while. I tried to update my blog from my phone, but the battery died and theAdvocate got me while I had my guard down. All I could do was get out that message to Shady that theAdvocate had shown up at my house.

Speaking of which, I beat him down and chased him out of my freaking house. Twisted little... gah, I hate you too. He hopped out of a window when I started unloading rounds in his direction from the 9mm I keep for emergency situations. Didn't like that very much did you? Haha... partly proud of myself for that. But... I probably should have been worried about the repercussions.

I tried to move out quickly, I started grabbing boxes right away and shoving them into my car. I thought that maybe if I got to my apartment and contacted Shady, I'd be in the clear. I wouldn't have to worry about theAdvocate or any other proxies harassing me. I'd have friends surrounding me, and Mystery has wards set up that keep bad things away... I guess I didn't move fast enough.

I was on the way over to my apartment when something didn't feel right. My sight was hazy and I was starting to doze... I never fall asleep at the wheel. I pulled off the road for a second to stretch my legs, and... well, I was out like a light. I don't remember what happened after I got out of the car.

When I came to, I had been tied up, gagged, and tossed in the backseat of what I think was a mini-van. It was really dark, and I was alone. I couldn't see outside because the windows were covered in duct tape, but I noticed that we were parked...

I noticed the faint smell of blood, and that was when I realized that the seat cushions were stained red. I gagged. I did not want to think about what had gone on inside this evil little van. I heard the trunk door swing open and then... Bam. I forget.

Next thing I remember is waking up in a dark basement, alone. I searched in the darkness for a light switch or for a way out, but it was a fruitless effort. On the bright-side, I ended up finding a medical bag filled with fresh bandages and equipment. Turns out theAdvocate likes to keep a clean ship. Of course, I had my suspicions that this was theAdvocate's basement but I didn't want to jump to conclusions... there are plenty of proxies out there, and who knows how many of them have been stalking me.

I realized it was theAdvocate when I heard him singing from upstairs.

"I love you like a long song, Shady
Oh, I love you like a love song, Shady--"

I couldn't help but laugh. It was so pitiful.

I ignored his singing, and stumbled over a lot of furniture while searching the basement. I found a door while I was looking around... and... I'm not gonna discuss what I found in there over the internet. It was... twisted. TheAdvocate is a psychopath.

After about an hour of searching for a way out, I gave up and crashed on the couch. I don't know how long I slept, but when I woke up I could hear the sounds of another person moving around in the darkness... My first reaction was to grab a surgical knife from the medical bag to defend myself. After a few minutes though, I  realized that I wasn't in any danger... It looked like I wasn't the only "guest" theAdvocate was having today.

I stood up and ended up stepping on a switch in the floor, near one of the legs of the couch. I don't know why the heck the light switch was built into the floor, but I guess I should be glad that I stepped on it. The light's sprang on, and I was momentarily blinded. Then, when my vision cleared I saw her.

Her name was Lullaby... She... I... We talked for a while and... It was nice having someone there to be with. I think she comforted me as much as I tried to comfort her. It... thanks, Lullaby... I...

I used the medical kit that theAdvocate had given me to patch up her wounds, and then...

I don't know what happened. The next day, I just remember waking up in the woods with Lullaby. We started running as soon as we were on our feet. I don't know why but theAdvocate had let us go. I guess we bored him or something. We... It was all so confusing. I don't even know how we found our way to the mansion... we almost got shot by some guys with guns who called themselves MASC, but then Mystery showed up and stopped them.

Now, I'm updating my blog from the mansion.

I... need to think.

I just wanted to make this post so everyone would know that I'm alive.

I'm not even gonna try and talk about how I feel about this Thuggee character...
Until next time,
-DoctorProctor

Shady

The Advocate

8th Entry

Moving.

Moving forward, moving not only into a new house but onto a new path of life. Packing up my stuff, leaving my parents house soon. I never intended to cement myself here like this, but I guess everything happens for a reason. Coming here to stay with my parents... When I lived alone, I was stayed out of my house as much as possible. I kept moving from place to place, blaming it on my A.D.H.D. I had to watch my back all the time, and   I... well I didn't keep friends for long. It was too much of a hassle. They caught on pretty fast to the fact that I'm not normal, and when people started asking questions... It just never resulted in anything good. Now, I've found something more secure. I finally have a group of people who understand what I'm going through, and aren't afraid to fight back against the supernatural evils at work. I don't think I need to even mention how difficult life was when I was alone in this... anyone who has shared my experiences knows what I mean. Life alone, being hunted down by the tall faceless monster... There is no better example of hell.

I locked my own emotions out to survive. I locked my thoughts away, disconnecting myself from it all to survive. Now, I'm finally able to let that all out.

This may sound like ridiculous advice: Please, if you're going through something don't try to survive all by yourself. Find others. By what I hear, this is happening to more people every day. Resist, and reach out for help. Then, when you feel like you can, reach out to help others. Things may start small, but someday you might have a group like the Defenders Against Slenders set up.

Also, knowledge is power. I'm learning a lot about this whole... messy situation. It's funny looking back at myself, all of the stupid things I did that could have gotten me killed. I had such a basic knowledge of what was really going on. All of the dangers. The reality of this...all. It's funny in a horrible way. None of it feels right, but you know that it's the only real thing left. My head hurts trying to figure it out... trying to figure out how to say things. It's one of those things that are just hard to discuss.  My A.D.H.D. doesn't help. And my short term memory loss. I'm assuming both of those symptoms can be blamed on HIM. Sucks.  

I'm curious about a couple of things...

This is happening so much, I'm surprised it hasn't become a national crisis or something. Is there any government involvement in this phenomenon, or are these supernatural disappearances and such still being considered "urban myths"? I couldn't go to the police or any authorities for help when I needed it... What's going on with this? I can't comprehend how HE managed to stay off the grid like he has... I don't know why I'm still uncomfortable about naming him.

Are there any other groups across the world like DAS, or are they the first resistance that has ever been established that we know of?

I've moved up and down this post, trying to figure out what I've forgotten to mention that's been on my mind...

Oh well. I should probably start working towards closing this post.

I'm a poor writer, anyways. I'm not good with words, and I don't quite have the flourish or talent that others do. What I do have is a story to tell, and I'm going to tell it. That's why I started this blog.

Once I've moved into my own apartment and I've got internet access, I'll start writing. That way, I don't have to worry about being interrupted while writing it. Expect another post soon.

Once again, I feel like this ending is abrupt. Maybe it's just me?
-DoctorProctor

7th Entry

(NOTE: I originally wrote this post a couple of weeks ago, but for some reason it didn't save/send or something... So I'm posting it now. I apologize for any messed up time frames)

Hello again, possibly nonexistent readers who may or may not actually believe or care about what I write

Firstly, I wanna apologize for my absence. Like I said in earlier posts, life has been pretty crazy.

So, there's a lot to cover. Every week more and more is piled into my head as I try to figure everything out. It's like as soon as I sit down and figure out what part of my week I'm gonna write about, more gets loaded in and pushes the old stuff out. I guess you catch my drift. Anyways...

I have good news and bad news.

Bad news first...

This... is not something I can write easily. Basically, my mom is in a mental hospital and isn't looking too healthy. Like I had said earlier, crap hit my family like a train and she ended up in the hospital. She's started acting super paranoid and suicidal... and her arms aren't even recognizable anymore. One day, I came home and she was torn up with a bloody knife in her hand, crying in a corner. She won't talk to us, she won't talk to my dad, she won't talk to any of the doctors or the psychiatrist or anyone. It's all so screwed up, I don't know how they got to her. I don't know what set her off, but she got worse as soon as we tried to get her in the hospital. She started thrashing and screaming, and all of this just... totally happened overnight. I've been trying to balance working with other personal stuff, and this blog has been the least of my priorities. I should be back more regularly now, though. I'm trying to figure out if there is anything I can do to help the situation, but honestly I'm just about ready to completely withdraw from my family and avoid all of the chaos. It's really a pain on my mind.

That's what all the crap was with that, I'm still dealing with that but I think it's settled down a bit. I haven't seen any of them following me for a while, so... I guess the mental breakdown was their way of sending me a message.

And now there are lots of  things coming up... lot's of good things. This is the good news part of the post!

The Shady Lady and I have been chatting recently. It's nice having someone in the area who can help me out with this stuff... She's a wealth of knowledge, and I just wanna publicly show my appreciation to her. Hopefully this won't get any of us in trouble or anything...

I've got a job! It's nothing too fabulous, but it's enough for me to rent an apartment closer to... well, I won't name locations. Let's just say, I'm putting myself in a more friendly environment. It'll be nice having people around me who can help me deal with this.

I've been doing a lot of research lately, and I've figured out a great amount of tricks to put into play if I ever encounter one of them again.

On the topic of encounters, I can't tell you how many times I've considered whether or not the encounters could just be hallucinations. I remember when I first started telling people about all of this, before I realized how they would react, the councilors and psychiatrists they'd put me with would always try to convince me that I was just hallucinating/dreaming and that the things I saw were just subconscious images in my head playing like a video across my eyes. There is always a part of me that has doubted what I'm seeing. I'm either sane or insane, the only thing that decides any difference is whose opinion I ask.

If you've gone through/are going through, I advise you to contact the Defenders Against Slenders. The name is a bit silly sounding (no offense, guys) but they really do have some valid information and can offer help.

It seems like I've gotten so distracted by other things since I started this blog, and I've fallen away from my original goals. I think maybe it's time I reset my focus. Next time I post, I'm going to try and get back on track. This is still DoctorProctor's Enigma, and I'm going to tell you about my curious case if it kills me.

Anyways, I need to go. I apologize for the abrupt ending to this post. I will write more later. I need to get some sleep for work tomorrow.

Until then,
-DoctorProctor

6th Entry

Hello, readers.

I've been gone a while... a lot of stuff has happened since my last post. It's been more than 4 weeks since my last post. It's so easy to lose track of time.

Firstly, my mom is in the hospital. I'll cover this some more in a later post, I need to make this very quick.

Secondly, I have a really bad cough. Now, please don't just to conclusions about the cough. I've self diagnosed it as bronchitis, and will be going to the doctor's tomorrow to have it checked out.

I haven't been able to post because blogger has been acting funny, and do to my sickness I haven't had the patience to deal with it.

I'm gonna go now, I can't write in the midst of coughing fits. I hope all of you are still alive and well, I'll work on writing Entry 7 soon.

Till then,
-DoctorProctor

5th Entry & 2nd Query

After my 4th Entry, I've received one or two messages telling me that I should have waited until later to "Encounter a monster".

Seriously, this is to be expected I guess. No matter how much I try to convince you, none of you will believe a word I say until you have experienced it for your self. If you survive it, I'd like to be given the chance to say "I told you so".

It's been a while since my first entry. I've discovered how nice it is to see that I'm still alive and able to make posts here, after all this time. My parents are acting funny, though. I think they've realized something is wrong. After all these years, now they realize it. I find it really, really funny in a sick way. This...Is all so stupid. Sometimes I wonder why I try to resist it all, and why I don't just run headlong into it with guns blazing. I guess dying scares me too much. Or maybe it's the chance that I won't die, and that something worse will happen to me.

I should warn you, my attention span has been dramatically cut down since the encounter. The things I've seen... I've never seen anything like what I saw at the McDonald's. I'm still trying to wrap my head around it. So, I'll apologize right now for my lack of focus and my almost nonexistent train of thought. The paranoia hasn't quite hit me yet, so I won't be rambling like a madman anytime soon (thank goodness).

When I think of all the things I need to cover, it all starts to get jumbled up in my head. For anyone who has never encountered them (the italics are getting a bit obnoxious. I was originally trying to find a way to distinguish between "them" and "THEM", but from hence forth I will assume that you know who I'm talking about when I say "them"), you wouldn't understand how all of this screws with your mind.

Even now my brain... does not want to function. Which makes it incredibly difficult to write.

So, I'll update you all on what's been going on in my life:

1. I met this girl at a place I was applying at for a job... we're seeing each other, but I'm realizing that I'm not even really attracted to her. She's a total ditz (no offense intended, just being a little brutally honest), but she's a nice distraction from the hell around me. We've only been out like... twice, so it's nothing serious.

2. I got an interview with a locally owned business, so hopefully I'll be getting a job here in Jersey soon. I'm done mooching off my parents, and I think it's about time I started taking legitimate classes in self defense. YouTube can only prove so helpful. It must seem ridiculous that I've been taking classes on self defense on YouTube.

3. I've been leaving my house a lot lately to run errands for my mom. If they want me, they can get me while I'm out. I don't want them to even be tempted to get at me when I'm with my parents. I've been seeing things a lot lately, though, which I find mildly disturbing. Like, I thought I saw something in a sewer drain once. Creeped the heck out of me at first. Another time, a guy in a mask bumped into me but nobody else saw him... or at least, nobody else payed attention to him. I came home today and found that someone had been looking on Google for "Occult rituals", and both my parents are hardcore catholic. Or at least, I think they are. They were in the other life. They might be anything... I've never asked. Never had to. Ya, it probably sounds stupid. Anyways, for now I don't know what to think.

4. I've trying to find cheap security cameras that I can set up in my house. Just because I've heard it's a smart thing to do from a lot of people. It seems like a good idea.

Now,  really quickly, I have a couple more questions for anyone who can answer them:

1. The explosion at the McDonald's is nonexistent. It wasn't mentioned on the news as far as I know, and the cops haven't been investigating around the area at all. What does this mean? I haven't gone back to the sight to look around, but how did they manage to keep it from being on the news?

2. I think I've seen the Advocate around, following me. I never see him directly, just out of the corner of my eye or in the reflection of a mirror, or in the reflection of my car's door. When I turn around, he's never there. What does this mean, and what do I do? Should I engage him, or try to draw him out of hiding or ignore him?

3. How do you kill them? Can they be killed? I've killed them before, but it was in my other life... which wasn't exactly realistic...

4. How do you kill them, if you can? Are they like humans? What types of enemies are there? What do they look like?

5. What are the known identities of enemies? What do they call themselves?

6. Any really good strategies I should know?

7. Is there any organization made for defending against this kind of stuff? I've heard about the Defenders Against Slenders, but I don't know what to think about them. I've yet to try any of their advice, due to issues on my part. Is there anyone in Jersey I can confide in?

Wow, well now my brain is being really screwed up. That last sentence took me a couple of minutes to time...

I'm going to head to bed for the night. Hope you all have a good rest, and that tomorrow will be productive.
-DoctorProctor

P.S. Coming clean about my past soon. Keep in touch.

1st Query

By now, if you have been reading the last couple of posts I've made, you can obviously tell that my situation is not normal. I'm dealing with things that aren't of this world... supernatural beings, unseen by ignorant eyes. That monster I encountered earlier this week was not even remotely of this world. Most people would've have read that post and... well, most people I tell think I'm crazy. Again, that's the reason why I'm confiding in the internet. It grants me a little bit of security. Not much, I might still be found and sent to a mental hospital for what most people assume is insanity.

But this is not an entry, so I'll shut up and get to the point. This is a query. One of the reasons I've created this blog is to locate other people who have dealt with... bad things and unnatural happenings. I need advice... I've dealt with being haunted my entire life, and yet I still know nothing about the enemy I face. I have a few questions, and if any of you know how I can get help or improve something, please feel free to tell me.

Below, I have listed a few questions I need answered. If you can help in anyway, it would be much appreciated.

Question 1: The enemy moves both at night and at day. Which is the worse time to expose myself? So far, night has proved to be very very dangerous. I'm wondering if I just had a bit of bad luck, or if this kinda thing always happens?

Question 2: How can I protect my house and my family? I have weapons, but is there any type of security system that will keep monsters from watching me, or from getting in my house while I'm away?

Question 3: Are people planted in our lives? Like, the woman from college. Did they put her in my life to observe me or something? Or was the monster I dealt with NOT actually her, and just a monstrous copy of her or something?

Question 4: How can I prevent bad things from happening? Are there any methods to avoiding contact with the enemy?

Question 5: Any advice at all? For anything?

Question 6: Do they ever relent? What I mean is, are there any days where I won't have to worry about being hunted? And will they ever stop hunting me? How do I get them to stop hunting me?

Question 7: What are they? I keep calling them monsters but I don't know for sure what they are actually...

Question 8: Does this happen to a lot of people? I've heard about weird things happening to people, but has anyone had to deal with monsters like what I saw at the McDonald's?

Question 9: How do they keep the things they do secret? Like, it almost seems obvious what's going on... but nobody ever sees it besides me. And do they dispose of their dead? Like, last night someone caused that McDonald's to explode and I don't know if it was an accident or if it was them "cleaning" up the mess...?

That's all my questions for now. Will update blog again soon.
-DoctorProctor

4th Entry (2nd Part)

I forgot to mention something.

Like I said, I ran home, forsaking my car to the explosion.

I thought it would be helplessly crisped. It took me a while to get home, but when I did get home, guess what was waiting for me?

My car. It was perfectly fine. And guess what I realized? When I was sitting on the curb catching my breath, a man was watching me from down the street. It was him again.

And the thing making noises in my kitchen was just the microwave freaking out. The stupid thing is super glitchy... It was beeping like a power outage had hit us. Anyways, I'm gonna head out. Sorry for the random 2nd part update.

-DoctorProctor

4th Entry

Things went sour at the meeting last night. Needless to say, I won't be visiting any McDonald's after 10:30 P.M. after last night. They got to my contact. They did something to her. I am not someone who likes conflict... to an extent, you could call me a pacifist. Last night though... That wasn't a woman. She... I don't even know what that thing was. After all these years... I'm still afraid of it. It still manages to stop my breath. And last night... last night was...

Someone once told me that knowledge is power. This knowledge will put your life in danger. If you'd like to remain safe and ignorant, please do not read what I've written below. I will now attempt to retell the events that occurred last night.

I'm trying to figure out how to say this. I'm extremely frustrated with my lack of ability to write my thoughts down. Does this happen to everyone who experiences the supernatural? I mean, honestly experiences the supernatural? Anybody can write about a fictional events, or about "ghosts" and "monsters" that haunt them, but how much of that is really real?

What happened to me... the night went sour after I had arrived at the McDonald's. I can't remember what time it was when I got there. It was dark outside, and the fast-food restaurant smelt awful. I don't know how any of you feel about eating at McDonald's, but I've never been able to eat there without having stomach issues afterwards. The woman I was meeting was an old friend from college, whose name isn't worth mentioning. She has probably had it changed already, or is living under an alias or something. She may not even know who she was before she... changed. She had suggested we meet at the McDonald's, saying it would be a good halfway point for us. There is a lot I need to tell all of you. If you really even care about what I write, you'll find what I have to tell you... well, I suppose it might be enlightening.

I don't really know what my relationship with this woman was. I don't know how we met, if I ever thought of her as anything more than just a friend, or if we hated each other or had any disagreements, all I know is that she knew my parents somehow. I don't know if I introduced her to them, or if she was.... planted... in my life by them... If you have ever experienced anything even remotely like what I'm talking about, I don't need to clarify who they are. Someday... someday I'll mention them by name.

When I arrived at the McDonald's, I should have known something bad was in the works. The store was too quiet. The employees... it was like they had a man holding a gun to each of them. My head is hurting right now, and I'm pretty sure that is a bad sign. A headache is almost always somehow connected to them. They might even be watching me right now... Most likely.

I'm trying to refocus my attention on my writing. My mind is running like crazy...

Anyways, I showed up and bought a drink. I took a seat, and used my iPod to make my third post. Recalling what happened last night I now realize that while I was updating my blog, the employees behind the counter were disappearing... I don't know where they disappeared to, but they just seemed to walk out of sight and evaporate into nothing. I'm uncertain if they were even human. Or real.

Then a car pulled into the McDonald's. It was a Kia, but what kind of Kia I didn't notice.

I have a quick question: Does anyone know about the science of Deja Vu (Is that the correct spelling)? I keep having reoccurring Deja Vu, especially while writing these blogs. I'm just curious if it is in anyway related to them...

A woman stepped out of the car, and I recognized her as my contact from the pictures my parents had shown me of my college graduation. Her hair was cut short, brunette. She was wearing black jeans and a yellow blouse... I think. She wore glasses, and black high-heels. I'm trying to give you a basic idea of what she looks like, if you're interested. She may be wearing the same bloodied clothing that she left in.

She entered through the front door and immediately made eye contact with me. That was when... when I knew something was wrong. I had asked her to bring some documents and photographs... information about my past that I need. I still need that information... but I think I've reorganized my priorities.

I stood up to greet her, sliding my iPod into my pocket. She wasn't smiling... in fact, she had an enraged expression. I remember wondering, "Oh crap, what'd I do? She looks really pissed...". I... I don't know what I was thinking. I kept trying to rationalize why she wouldn't have brought me what I asked for, and why she was wearing that evil glare. I tried to be friendly, greeting her. Then, the horror hit me like a train.

Her jaw... was changing. It was loosening on its hinges, and... and growing? I don't know how to describe it.

All I know is that one moment she looked human, and the next moment she was pressing me against a wall.

She was snarling like a rabid dog, showing me her teeth and I was screaming "What are you doing???" in horror. Her teeth... Row upon row of blood-stained teeth, like a man-eating shark. She snarled and nipped at my shoulder, ripping my jacket.

I completely lost it. I was so confused and my body reacted instinctively. I punched her across the face, sending her reeling backwards. I don't know if I should even refer to that thing as a her...

Whatever it was, it hadn't expected me to fight back like that. I guess most people are too stunned by the monster's appearance to recover like I did.... But this isn't the first time I've dealt with ugly mutations.

I'm still... I don't like thinking about them. What these... things are. I don't even... Honestly, I'm lucky to have survived.

I didn't try and flee. I had just socked the monster in the face, but I was completely paralyzed by fear now. I was realizing what I had just done, when the thing sprang at me again. It was fast, and it moved like a predatory cat. I was able to will myself to step out of the path of it's lunge, and it smashed the wall. Curses poured from the beast's mouth... It spoke English, surprisingly. Apparently, whatever it was, it still had the cognitive ability to form words and communicate verbally.

I didn't try to hold a conversation with it. I grabbed a chair that wasn't screwed to the ground, and spun on my heel in time to see the thing charged at me again. I brought my makeshift weapon down across the thing's back, and stepped around it as it fell forward. The chair had shattered, and the monster was climbing to its feet again... I kicked it in between the shoulder blades, unintentionally driving its face into the corner of a table. While all this was going on, I kept expecting someone to help me. I kept hoping the people who worked behind the counter had called the police, or that they were grabbing a gun from the backroom or something... No help came, though.

I hopped the counter while the thing was recovering from my last attack. It was screaming... I was screaming... I wonder if the sound of our combat had escaped the confines of the McDonald's?

The monster had changed again. It didn't look even remotely human. Its skin darkened, its heels bent out of shape, its blouse tore as the monster exposed two new arms and the things face... it looked like someone had smeared its face out. I don't even know what I was fighting. It wasn't him, I would be dead if I had encountered him, but I'm curious to if this thing was one of his pets? Did he breed these unusual monstrosities  as a hobby? It's silly to even consider it, but who knows.

By now, the thing was up and kicking again. It charged me again, and when it reached the counter it sprang int o the air and dived at me.

But my mind had started scheming, and dodged to the side as the thing came toward me. Its flight path uninterrupted, the things face landed in the boiler (or whatever it's called) where the french fries are prepared. It raged, screaming in a voice that was almost female, and blindly wreaked havoc on anything within arms reach of it.

This is when I took my opportunity to flee. I wasted no time, rushing towards the back door and not checking to see if I was being pursued. It really sucked to find out that the backdoor was luck, but in my panicked rush to escape, I somehow managed to brake the lock with a pan.

Then, I really started to sweat beads when I picked up an odd scent in the air.

I sprinted across the street and glanced over my shoulder in time to see the McDonald's explode in a cloud of red and black and orange. Something had caused a gas leak... Something...

I sat down near the curb... and stayed there for five minutes. Then I heard sirens and I ran home.

I'll update again soon. Sorry for the abrupt cut off. I keep hearing noises from my kitchen... Wish me luck.
-DoctorProctor

3rd Entry

Thanks to science, and the magnificent power of WiFi internet and my iPod, I'm updating this blog with my new 4th Generation iPod Touch. I'll try and keep it short and sweet, seeing as I'm at a McDonald's waiting for someone to stop by for a meeting...

Ya, I know. It's pretty stupid to be out this late, especially with my luck recently. This is important though. I'm finally contacting someone I used to know... or, I think I knew. I'm getting some information I've been wanting to get my hands on for a while...

Which reminds me. None of my readers know much about me. I've been pretty cryptic lately... I'm trying to figure out how to retell my story and still sound somewhat sane. This is... difficult.

I'll give you some information about myself though, in closing:

I... am not actually a doctor. Technically. I was a doctor in another life...

Well, my contact is here. Sorry to rush off, I had so much more to write. She's early...

Until I update this blog again,
-DoctorProctor

2nd Entry

Hello again readers,

As you may notice, it's been quite some time since I have posted a new entry to this blog. Lately, I've been preoccupied with a great deal. I've also been tossing ideas around in my head... Deciding where I should begin. Or if I should even begin. Something happened earlier. Someone broke into my house. Actually, two people broke into my house. In the same day. There is a heaviness in the atmosphere, a grim sense of something bad approaching. I don't know how to explain it.

I've been trying to take my mind off of it. I've been applying for jobs around New Jersey, and I think I might stay here for a while. I... I can't explain why I want to stay right now. I feel like I'm drifting through the month, memories and emotions driving me in directions I would have never considered before. My parents are very enthusiastic about me staying in the area with them. I haven't told them about the incident with the girl... and the attack. That's a story I've yet to share with anyone.

So, seeings as a mass of events have swarmed my life recently, I've been trying to focus and decide what I should talk about today. I would like to apologize for my absence, as well. In the future, I'll try to update this blog more often. For a few weeks, I was afraid that this blog would only bring more "encounters" with unfriendly forces. I've decided to screw the consequences, though.

Alright, so you might be curious to what's been going on in my life lately, so I'll update you quickly. Not only have I recently begun job searching, I've also been self-educating myself in quite a few things such herbal remedies and apothecary, and basic martial arts. I also invested in a shotgun and a revolver, for security.

A few events have occurred as well, which I'll have to cover later. Someone just pulled into the driveway. On a final note: The girl who broke into my house. We need to talk. Can we meet?

Until then,
-DoctorProctor

1st Entry

Dear Reader,

Fourteen years ago, I experienced a supernatural phenomenon first-hand. Today, calmed by the summer reprieve, I have to decided to make use of the internet to share my story with any curious readers who may stumble upon it while browsing these blogs. I don't ask you to examine my case or even try to render assistance, and I will not ask that you believe a word of what I disclose on this page. The events I have witnessed are not for the close-minded to observe, or the feint-of-heart. My life has been a constant chain of unfortunate horrors and spiritual encounters. I've seen monsters, and I've been in the presence of gods, although at the time I did not know it. I've survived three house fires, four car accidents, and have been poisoned twice by the servants of my enemies. I've broken more bones then I can remember, I've been shot in the shoulder before, and I was almost murdered when I visited New York two years ago for Christmas-break by a head-case with a knife. Most of my friends try to convince me that I just have poor luck. I know the truth though.

The sights I have seen are disturbing. I have lived two lives my entire life, until four years ago when I regained control of my body. By some unnatural power, my mind was being controlled. I was placed in an illusion that was a false life. This is just one of the horrendous happenings that I have suffered. 

I have battled members of the cults, and rabid men and women with knives and chains who obey a demonic spirit who goes by a name that I will not mention until I feel comfortable with mentioning it here. 

How can I help that these things have occurred? I've tried to seek aid from the local authorities and the police, and even a mental health clinic once. I'm as sane as they get; that, I can assure you. But even I have questioned what I have seen. It took me two years to trust my eyes. Every person I told reported me as a head-case or a nut. I'm tired of the glares and the stares of disbelief and worry.

I don't know what to say sometimes. 

Sitting here, thinking about it, I really do sound like a head-case on occasion. What I have seen has changed me. The difference between you and I, is that I know what my enemies can do and you have yet to witness anything slightly relative. Society has this little box which they like to call "reality", but in all honesty you are all just establishing a false sense of security. Have you ever observed a man stepping through a wall? Literally stepping through the wall, like a ghost. I have, and I know for certain that it wasn't a figment of my imagination. Reality. Widen your gaze, and perhaps you will see how far reality can be stretched.

Now that I have thoroughly rambled about my past experiences, I feel as if I'm forgetting to establish my point. So I will frank and to the point;

This blog is a place where I will journal past and present events occurring in my life. I'm writing this blog for two reasons.

1. For stress relief. It feels good to speak out about what has happened to me, and I know that I am anonymous on the internet, so I'm protected to an extent.

2. For you. If anything even remotely similar is occurring to you, please do not be afraid of contacting me here. You're not alone. I can help you. If any of these stories I post fit you, comment and we can discuss how to get you out of a horrible situation. 

Those are my goals while writing this blog. 

Well, I should probably bring this first entry to a close. I'm currently in New Jersey visiting my parents, and they'll be home soon. They don't know about this project or the enigma that has become such a defining part of my life. I'll write a new post soon, and give you more details about myself in the future.

I will be writing under the pen-name DoctorProctor, but you can also call me Casey (Pronounced Kay-see). Yes, that is a guy's name. 

Until I write again, thank you for your time,

~DoctorProctor