Saturday, September 10, 2011

7th Entry

(NOTE: I originally wrote this post a couple of weeks ago, but for some reason it didn't save/send or something... So I'm posting it now. I apologize for any messed up time frames)

Hello again, possibly nonexistent readers who may or may not actually believe or care about what I write

Firstly, I wanna apologize for my absence. Like I said in earlier posts, life has been pretty crazy.

So, there's a lot to cover. Every week more and more is piled into my head as I try to figure everything out. It's like as soon as I sit down and figure out what part of my week I'm gonna write about, more gets loaded in and pushes the old stuff out. I guess you catch my drift. Anyways...

I have good news and bad news.

Bad news first...

This... is not something I can write easily. Basically, my mom is in a mental hospital and isn't looking too healthy. Like I had said earlier, crap hit my family like a train and she ended up in the hospital. She's started acting super paranoid and suicidal... and her arms aren't even recognizable anymore. One day, I came home and she was torn up with a bloody knife in her hand, crying in a corner. She won't talk to us, she won't talk to my dad, she won't talk to any of the doctors or the psychiatrist or anyone. It's all so screwed up, I don't know how they got to her. I don't know what set her off, but she got worse as soon as we tried to get her in the hospital. She started thrashing and screaming, and all of this just... totally happened overnight. I've been trying to balance working with other personal stuff, and this blog has been the least of my priorities. I should be back more regularly now, though. I'm trying to figure out if there is anything I can do to help the situation, but honestly I'm just about ready to completely withdraw from my family and avoid all of the chaos. It's really a pain on my mind.

That's what all the crap was with that, I'm still dealing with that but I think it's settled down a bit. I haven't seen any of them following me for a while, so... I guess the mental breakdown was their way of sending me a message.

And now there are lots of  things coming up... lot's of good things. This is the good news part of the post!

The Shady Lady and I have been chatting recently. It's nice having someone in the area who can help me out with this stuff... She's a wealth of knowledge, and I just wanna publicly show my appreciation to her. Hopefully this won't get any of us in trouble or anything...

I've got a job! It's nothing too fabulous, but it's enough for me to rent an apartment closer to... well, I won't name locations. Let's just say, I'm putting myself in a more friendly environment. It'll be nice having people around me who can help me deal with this.

I've been doing a lot of research lately, and I've figured out a great amount of tricks to put into play if I ever encounter one of them again.

On the topic of encounters, I can't tell you how many times I've considered whether or not the encounters could just be hallucinations. I remember when I first started telling people about all of this, before I realized how they would react, the councilors and psychiatrists they'd put me with would always try to convince me that I was just hallucinating/dreaming and that the things I saw were just subconscious images in my head playing like a video across my eyes. There is always a part of me that has doubted what I'm seeing. I'm either sane or insane, the only thing that decides any difference is whose opinion I ask.

If you've gone through/are going through, I advise you to contact the Defenders Against Slenders. The name is a bit silly sounding (no offense, guys) but they really do have some valid information and can offer help.

It seems like I've gotten so distracted by other things since I started this blog, and I've fallen away from my original goals. I think maybe it's time I reset my focus. Next time I post, I'm going to try and get back on track. This is still DoctorProctor's Enigma, and I'm going to tell you about my curious case if it kills me.

Anyways, I need to go. I apologize for the abrupt ending to this post. I will write more later. I need to get some sleep for work tomorrow.

Until then,

1 comment:

  1. So much trouble in so little time. Just happy to lend you some assistance when you need it, deary. Sorry for your mum, hopefully things get better in general.