Thursday, September 6, 2012

Entry 3


After weeks of crawling away from the ghosts of my present, I have finally escaped New Jersey. I thought that returning to my home state would comfort me, and perhaps allow me to complete my work in peace... but... it was silly of me to have hoped to be free, at least for a little. Is it selfish to desire such an escape from the rest of the universe? This haunting never ceases, and the plague of terrible emptiness never leaves my darkened mind. I am so full of knowledge, yet I feel so lost. Is this the ultimate penalty for surviving? I have misplaced the passion I once had.

I remember so vividly all of the monsters that I confronted in my past life. Demons in alleyways, men in masks who laugh at you from the shadows, dogs that crawl across the ceiling... A Tall Man in the forest, singing to you.

They were all so colorful. I killed some of them, and I fled the others... Which were illusions and which were reality? By killing them, did I win or lose? Everything seems so black and white now... everything is blurred and undefined. My vision has abandoned me here.

Virginia is lost to me. I once loved this state, with its light-hearted quirks and innocent patriotism. I remember walking through the country's capital and contemplating my future... That life was not mine, and neither was that future.

That was before I woke up. Things can change so quickly and so drastically.

I left my passion in New Jersey, I suppose. I feel incredibly called to my home there... the Haven... to my friend, Shady. Shady, what has happened to you?

TheAdvocate, you were always the smartest cookie in the jar weren't you? You've somehow managed to play all of your cards right! I can't believe you managed to win her over, brother. In the end, did you succeed by using power or intelligence? No, you simply charmed your way to victory. I'm impressed.

That's what makes you dangerous, isn't it? Heck, you've got power and intelligence; however you've also got a very snake-like charm, and that is how you trick an enemy into dropping their defenses.

What are you planning? I know that you visited Shady in the Asylum, I read your post. I suppose I'll have to speak with you in person when I return to the Haven, yes?

How long has it been since I departed on this journey? I'll have to check my records. It took me quite some time to reach my destination, seeing as I alternated from travelling on foot and by taxi, and I've nearly run out of cash to use for travelling. Fortunately, it isn't hard find a stranger who needs an odd job taken care of, and some people tip nicely. I think that returning to New Jersey will be a simple process.

I regret having come all this way for nothing, but I guess the travelling experience was educational and worthwhile. This place depresses me and reminds me of my dead family and friends. I don't have any friends or relatives who I can stay with, so I have been staying at a rundown hotel off of 95 south for a while and... to be honest, the atmosphere is muggy and claustrophobic. Nothing like the Virginia of my childhood...

My cellphone fell out of my pocket at some point while I was travelling, and so I haven't been able to contact anyone via phone or text, though that may be for the best. I really can't trust anyone associated with my past... The last person I tried to meet with for answers turned into a monster and tried to kill me. Remember that? I do.

No proxy-kind have followed me, as far as I can tell, which is a blessing. I haven't seen any supernatural creatures since I left the Haven. The trip here was generally quiet, so I hope that the trip home will be similar.

This is extremely abrupt, but I have to go for a little. I'll write more in the morning, hopefully. I'm nowhere near being finished with this topic.

- Black

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