Entry 3

Virginia.

After weeks of crawling away from the ghosts of my present, I have finally escaped New Jersey. I thought that returning to my home state would comfort me, and perhaps allow me to complete my work in peace... but... it was silly of me to have hoped to be free, at least for a little. Is it selfish to desire such an escape from the rest of the universe? This haunting never ceases, and the plague of terrible emptiness never leaves my darkened mind. I am so full of knowledge, yet I feel so lost. Is this the ultimate penalty for surviving? I have misplaced the passion I once had.

I remember so vividly all of the monsters that I confronted in my past life. Demons in alleyways, men in masks who laugh at you from the shadows, dogs that crawl across the ceiling... A Tall Man in the forest, singing to you.

They were all so colorful. I killed some of them, and I fled the others... Which were illusions and which were reality? By killing them, did I win or lose? Everything seems so black and white now... everything is blurred and undefined. My vision has abandoned me here.

Virginia is lost to me. I once loved this state, with its light-hearted quirks and innocent patriotism. I remember walking through the country's capital and contemplating my future... That life was not mine, and neither was that future.

That was before I woke up. Things can change so quickly and so drastically.

I left my passion in New Jersey, I suppose. I feel incredibly called to my home there... the Haven... to my friend, Shady. Shady, what has happened to you?

TheAdvocate, you were always the smartest cookie in the jar weren't you? You've somehow managed to play all of your cards right! I can't believe you managed to win her over, brother. In the end, did you succeed by using power or intelligence? No, you simply charmed your way to victory. I'm impressed.

That's what makes you dangerous, isn't it? Heck, you've got power and intelligence; however you've also got a very snake-like charm, and that is how you trick an enemy into dropping their defenses.

What are you planning? I know that you visited Shady in the Asylum, I read your post. I suppose I'll have to speak with you in person when I return to the Haven, yes?

How long has it been since I departed on this journey? I'll have to check my records. It took me quite some time to reach my destination, seeing as I alternated from travelling on foot and by taxi, and I've nearly run out of cash to use for travelling. Fortunately, it isn't hard find a stranger who needs an odd job taken care of, and some people tip nicely. I think that returning to New Jersey will be a simple process.

I regret having come all this way for nothing, but I guess the travelling experience was educational and worthwhile. This place depresses me and reminds me of my dead family and friends. I don't have any friends or relatives who I can stay with, so I have been staying at a rundown hotel off of 95 south for a while and... to be honest, the atmosphere is muggy and claustrophobic. Nothing like the Virginia of my childhood...

My cellphone fell out of my pocket at some point while I was travelling, and so I haven't been able to contact anyone via phone or text, though that may be for the best. I really can't trust anyone associated with my past... The last person I tried to meet with for answers turned into a monster and tried to kill me. Remember that? I do.

No proxy-kind have followed me, as far as I can tell, which is a blessing. I haven't seen any supernatural creatures since I left the Haven. The trip here was generally quiet, so I hope that the trip home will be similar.

This is extremely abrupt, but I have to go for a little. I'll write more in the morning, hopefully. I'm nowhere near being finished with this topic.

- Black

Entry 2

Doctor Proctor. Hmmm... No, I think not. That was just an alias... Who am I really?

In a previous reality, I was named Peter Black... In this reality,  I am Casey Black. In both lives, I have held the title of Doctor.

Haha... My past is like a stain in my mind. A black spot on my record... Black. I am consistently Black. Peter Black, Casey Black...

Doctor Proctor... No.

This has been a season of change, dear readers. A season of revelations for all of those involved in this great conspiracy... A season of loss. A season of victory. A season of endings and beginnings.

I think that there is another name that would suit me better.

So, please... Call me Black. Doctor Black, if you prefer.

Does this change make you uncomfortable? Haha... Humans are fickle creatures. Sooooo easily upset.

You'll get used to it eventually, won't you? I thought so.

TheAdvocate, you and I were designed to work together! We are both black marks. We are both special cases. We are both diseased, plagued creations... monsters, even... You have clearly accepted the taste of corruption, whereas I resist the beast I was designed to become.

We were created by Thuggee for the same purpose. Now, you and I both know the truth. It was  given to me, a gift to share... knowledge!

You've been quiet... Where are you?  You handled my revelation well... Why disappear now? Curious...

Yes, we are quite a curious trio aren't we?

I am Black, a stained man. I hold the realities of many men within my mind.

I was born Casey Black. Thuggee selected me to become his host body, his puppet... A weapon.

A trident, specifically. Three heads, to pierce three foes.

Thuggee has been holding a gun to every faction's head... but he moved too slowly. He missed his opportunity to pull the trigger.

I've seen beyond the curtain! Now, I hold the gun! Haha! IMAGINE THAT. The puppet no longer... Ha!

Thuggee must be seething.

I was born Casey Black. I am Black. Doctor Black.  A weapon of sabotage. A ticking time bomb, planted behind enemy lines.

That was his plan! TIME BOMBS FOR EVERY ENEMY! I wasn't meant to just destroy the Defenders Against Slenders specifically, but to eventually eliminate any man or woman that resisted the supernatural. I was "one of them", therefore Shady accepted me as an ally early into our friendship. The... the horrible things I would have eventually done to all of my friends...

TheAdvocate... Well, he was just another time bomb waiting to detonate. The Tall Man believed that TheAdvocate was His dedicated servant. However, TheAdvocate was a special case! Hehehe... BOOM.

You let her out, brother. You don't remember it, but I do. It was part of Thuggee's grand scheme. He wanted her to escape. He was the one that let Shady out when you had kidnapped her! Remember, the first time you met her... The first time you tortured her. The beginning of all of this... the start of your obsession.

He let her out. He was the one who helped her escape! She fled to my old house, where we first encountered each other and you "chased" her...

No, you didn't chase her. You only believe that you chased her. Thuggee implanted false memories in your mind as well! Hahahaha...

I remember that you "attacked me" while I was in the kitchen, but even that was a lie. You and I were the same person! We were ALWAYS the same person!

You had a secret staircase in one of your hideouts... That's how Thuggee managed to trick DeMii into believing that you and I were different men...

You kidnapped her, you threw her in your basement, the lights were out, Thuggee took over and you entered the basement secretly, I met DeMii and... and... well, Thuggee manipulated us all...

He got what he wanted in the end. DeMii gave birth to Lullaby and he had an "Heir"...

Then, you released us... Do you remember why you released us? I bet not. It seems odd doesn't it? Very... random, wouldn't you agree?

It was a strange decision, even for you... Thuggee wanted it and so you obeyed like a good little toy.

We discussed this earlier, though...

Why am I repeating all of this information, you might ask?

Well, I think my readers deserve to know this information, don't you? ;)

I wonder what all of my friends and readers are thinking right about now. Here I am, Doctor Black, spilling secrets that will most likely get me killed...

I was the Hand of the Gods, the supernatural juggernaut...
I was TheAdvocate, the sadistic murderer...
I was Doctor Proctor, the victimized man with a curious past...

I was a trident, a weapon with three heads and a special purpose.

Sometimes I wonder how I've managed to stay sane... You cannot comprehend how maddening the truth can be.

There is so much... so much to write. I can't go insane yet. I'm not allowed to fall apart yet.

So, who would like to have my head on a plate? Dia? Shady? The Executor? The Tall Man? Thuggee? TheAdvocate? MASC? You all have reasons to despise who I once was. I am a guilty man.

Yes, I sense a bloody future ahead for someone with my history.

BUT WAIT! You don't want to kill me yet --- Oh no, not yet.

I've yet to expose the most important secret! Thuggee, should I tell them or should you? Hehehe

I'm not dead yet, I'm not lost yet, I'm not insane yet, I can still redeem myself... can't I???

That's what my work is for! SOON! Soon... Soon, even TheAdvocate will help me record the truth. Won't you help me, brother? Imagine what we could do together. We were designed to work together for the same purpose.

My offer stands, brother. You and I, two very different men, aligned for the same purpose. We could stop him, you know. He can't succeed if we work against him. We could repay him for all of the lies and the deceit...

Revenge, doesn't that entice you?

To my readers, I apologize for rambling. It is a new habit I have developed, unfortunately. I struggle to filter my thoughts...

I am on my way back to the Haven now. I will be contacting Shady very soon. I am still alive and my meeting with TheAdvocate went surprisingly well. He only tried to kill me twice and we managed to discuss very important things.

Upon returning to the Haven, I intend to pack up my possessions and remove myself from the Mansion. I will find a place to conceal myself, then I will finish my work. I will not stop updating this blog. I will not stop contacting my allies. I will not stop fighting my enemies. My heart is still the same, my goals are still the same, but I am no longer the same Doctor.

I am relocating myself for reasons that I think should be obvious.

Now, I am ultimately split... I feel the desire to write more, but I know that it is time for me to end this blog post.

So I shall. I hope that you will comment and let me know where we stand, as friends or as foes. I will write more after I have left the Haven and have found a new place to post from.
- Black

I Will Not Let This Be The End

My entire life, I have been used.

Thuggee "selected" me as a tool before I was born, he has already publicly admitted to that information.

The Slender Man tried to manipulate me when I was younger, he tried to twist my mind so that I would become one of his "hollowed servants".

I remember the false realities that I once believed to be true.

In my "past lives" I was a doctor. I was married. I had a life, a career... a family. Illusions... Lies... Call them what you will. They were so real to me... I even remember the day that I "died". That was the day that I returned to this life... When I "awoke" from my dreamland.

Thuggee, the Puppet Master. He manipulated even the Slender Man and His servants... He allowed all of us to believe that we were fulfilling our own plans, when we were really just aiding him in the completion of his personal schemes.

He isn't done yet, oh no... His ultimate goal hasn't been revealed. Yes, that is exactly how he wants it... None of you have any idea of how deep this plot really goes. This... this has been in the works for a very long time.

I apologize if my writing is lacking at this moment... My thoughts are... off topic.

I made my decision...

Let us see how the cards fall. I'm not one for gambling... How about you, Advocate? Do you like to gamble?

I'm dressing up for the occasion. Freshly shaved, dressed in a three-piece suit with a bow-tie and my nicest pair of shoes. I'm sure you'll have an easy time spotting me when we meet, won't you?

Why should I dwell on this topic for any longer? Its time for me to stop talking and start acting.

I remember the day that I awoke to this reality. It was so long ago... I remember my confusion.

If I die, I wonder what my next reality will be like...

Wish me luck.
- Casey B.

Away Trip

Its been a while since I last updated.

A lot has happened... my daughter is dead. I've left the Haven, I've... still been writing about my experiences, but my head has not been in it. I'm going to finish what I have written so far and put it in a safe location... Then, I'm going to do something very stupid.

I've contacted TheAdvocate. I don't have a plan, but I'm going to settle a problem that needs to be dealt with.

TheAdvocate, I'm sure you're very giddy about this. Good. At least one of us is excited.

Shady, I'm going to leave you the location of my papers in  case something happens. I can't explain what has been going through my head... I don't hate you, don't think I do. I don't blame you for what happened to Lullaby...

I... haven't decided on when I'm going to confront TheAdvocate. I want to give myself a little more time to think, but I can't put it off forever.

I'm sorry if I'm behaving irrationally. I don't know what is going on inside of me, but I have to do this. I'm going to be taking a trip to my old house, the one where I first met Shady... I may not come back. If I do, I may not be sane... I can't say.

I feel like an idiot for putting so much at risk, I know that what I'm doing is the farthest thing from wise. However, this needs to happen. My writing is incomplete, but if I tried to complete it in my current state of mind I would soil the product of my work.

I need to spill some secrets, I need to vent some anger on my enemies...

Most importantly, if I die, I know that I will not be the only one who the truth will affect.

Take care for now. I'll post again once all is said and done.
-DoctorProctor

Entry 1?

      I have not been sleeping very well. Is it possible to stop writing? I'm uncertain. I have far from an eternity to record my knowledge concerning the things that creep during the night and often the day as well, how can anyone expect a man to sleep with such responsible laid before him? 

     I could die tomorrow by the hand of Thuggee or some other horror and then what would happen? Would I possess the empty body of the cat that housed me for so long and wait patiently for a new body to come along? I think not, no... If Thuggee has the oppertunity, he will kill my body and consume my spirit... He consumed his lapdog's soul, didn't he? What law of magic says that he can't do the same to me if he finds me. Then what good would I be? 

     I have limited time to write before he tries to eat my essence and I have utilized all of the hours at my disposal for this purpose. I have countless pages of information concerning the movements of the enemy, his methods of sabotage and warfare, his powers and abilities.... his strengths and weaknesses. Very valuable information. The only fault in my work is that it is all quite complex and must be fit together like a puzzle. If you do not read one chapter of instruction, the other chapters will be useless and I am far from completing my writings.

     Time is not on any man or woman's side now. It is purely a game of speed. I must perfect my quick draw...

     So, I have committed to this project and have achieved a great deal in a short amount of time. Mystery, if only you were here... you would love to hear what I have to say. This was your forte, wasn't it? Magic and spells and spirits... I can't wrap my head around any of it. I have the knowledge, but not the understanding. It is... unfortunate. I wonder if it would be different if I had had more time to examine Thuggee's mind? 

     Having lived within the form of a cat for an extended duration of time, I have had a lot of time to consider some things of deep importance to my life. Doctor Proctor's Enigma. After I saw behind the veil of Thuggee's illusions, things started to click and now I've... seen into another world. Figuratively speaking. I believe that it would be completely appropriate for me to begin again with this blog at good old Entry 1 and this time I will examine the curious case from a new perspective. Perspective is funny in a very morbid way, sometimes... 

     My point is, I have been enlightened since leaving my previous body, the body of Casey (Who I still am, but at the same time am not). Though questions still float behind my eyelids, I have answers that I did not have before. I am closer to the solution to the equation... I just have to find x. Knowledge is such a blessing and such a curse!

 

     However, this is just the beginning. The skeptic in me still battles against all of this, I continue to question everything I have seen and experienced... Needless to say, it is hard for me to trust most things. Is any of this real? Was any of it ever real? I have been deceived far too many times and I have awoken from many dreams within illusions within dream within what might just be reality. Is the ground beneath my feet truly there? Is this all some phase in a bigger plot by a bigger puppet-master than the Slender Man or Thuggee?

     Well, I now have answers to past questions and that is enough. I need not worry myself to insanity about something that I have no control over... If this is all just an elaborately schemed dream, I can do nothing about it. Perhaps someday I will find an unquestionable reality, but that is not my concern as of now. Pondering for too long on such a topic would drive any man insane. Just thinking about it provokes my mind to headaches. 

     Bah, but this new perspective... it changes thing! My past, my present, and my future are all shifting into place within my mind like weights sliding around on a scale. Yet, everything is the same. No matter how many answers I find, no matter how many questions are raised, there will always be the uncertainty of it all. My skeptical thinking refuses to let the paranoia die. All I know is what I know, and if that is real or not... Well, I have to play with the cards I have been dealt. 

     Pardon my rambling. These thoughts, theories, visions... my imagination... it will all be my ultimate curse, my load forever... Too many questions to ask and not enough answers. I will find the answers someday though, if I do not die tomorrow or the day after that.

     My perspective is not the only thing that has been strangely altered. Shady... Shady has changed as well. Friends and enemies alike change. Things have been rearranged...As the weight shifts and the pressure builds, we are all forced to adapt to survive. 

      I can taste the tension in the air, a bitter breeze that threatens to overwhelm my lungs with its sharp flavor. Shady has so much to deal with, and I am of little assistance to her. I wish there was someway I could lighten her load, but my attempts... they are less than helpful. Looking at my track record, though, I doubt there was ever a time that my presence was beneficial. This.... this is one of the driving forces behind my new ambitions. Every scrap of knowledge and information I have locked within my head, if I can record all of it imagine what Shady can do with it. Perhaps in this way I can redeem myself for the horrible things connected to my past.

     I was my greatest enemy and I never realized it. Thuggee used me to infect DeMii with his heir... I feel horrible. I am such an idiot, in this sense. He played on my emotions when I was weak and worried and... now that little girl that I loved so much and the woman who gave me stability and a family... They are both ripped away.

     My daughter is a murdering sociopath and DeMii was her first real kill...

    All of this thinking about Thuggee evokes much concern within me. How much of it... how much of it was Thuggee and how much of it was Doctor Proctor? Am I really who I thought I was? Am I a monster?

     I feel disgusting when I think about these things. I am so uncertain about somethings. Too many questions!

    I should return to my work... I should, but I think I will retire for a little. I can really feel my mind slowly wearing out, I need to recharge my batteries. This body can run for a very long time on very little energy, but I'm starting to crash. I plan to set up a spell tonight that will allow me to record my dreams, it could be helpful, but I may fail horribly and end up putting a curse on myself. Haha no pain no gain, I guess.

Good night people of the internet, I hope you have enjoyed Entry 1 and that I did not make too many spelling errors.
- Doctor Proctor

Hi Again

Hi there. I'm... ah... back.

I'm not sure what to write, honestly. I don't really know how to say about everything that is going on. Maybe I should start at the beginning...

Thuggee and I were the same person all along, it seems. I still can't wrap my head around it completely, but somewhere along the line he... for lack of a better term, possessed my body. I think he may have even been born... inside of me... if that makes any sense. It probably does not, so I'll rephrase that... When I was born, Thuggee was already inside of me. Or at least, that's what I think may have been the case. I'm still not one-hundred percent sure about anything.

When I was a kid, I encountered the Slender Man. Since black outs and memory loss are usually related directly to that monster, I assumed he was to blame for all of the empty patches in my past but as it turns out good old Slender Man was the least of my problems. Thuggee, like a parasite, had gotten inside my mind and was manipulating my actions throughout my life. I guess before I was born, his "gods" selected me as a host for some reason that I will probably never know. Is it weird that even after all of this, the skeptic in me is screaming like a banshee?

After I was born, Thuggee started playing puppet master in my head and replacing real life memories with fake ones that he had devised to keep me under his oppression. It prevented me from ever really catching on to what he was making me do to people... I don't know how many people I have probably murdered. I... I know I had no say in anything that he made me do, but I feel disgusting for having been a tool to do such horrible things to people.

I don't know how he managed it, but somehow he made it so that I only disappeared when nobody would be looking for me. I always vanished without a trace, but nobody ever noticed... Part of me wonders if I was ever really anywhere that I was supposed to be. All of it could of been an illusion, not just impressed on my mind but also on the minds of people I encountered like Shady and Mystery.

I always had an eye for supernatural stuff, though I refused to believe in the supernatural wholeheartedly... It makes more sense to me now, considering that I was really a demon-possessed god-man-thing. Takes a freak to know a freak. After Thuggee attacked the Haven... after I attacked the Haven... Thuggee, he got cocky. He's really cocky... Trust me. He got so cocky that he let his "illusions" slip, and I started having those nightmares that were really just memories I wasn't supposed to remember returning to me. Or... they could have even been the times he walked in my body like it was a new Sunday morning suit.

I started freaking out and then I approached Mystery and... Well, eventually Thuggee caught me looking through the veil and decided to throw me out. I guess I was no longer of use to him now that I knew that I was a puppet, and considering the fact that Mystery and the rest of the DAS were separating... well, he didn't need a spy in the enemy's camp. So he threw me out of my own mind. I don't know how it works, but it happened.

I just kind of became nothing after that. I guess, having been connected to Thuggee for a long time, I had acquired some of his weird unearthly traits, like the ability to drift around as a wandering spirit... It was a weird experience. Don't try it at home, kids.

Eventually, I stumbled upon one of the cats we had at the Mansion and well... I can't remember if it was dead already, dying, or if I just shoved my way in and took over the cat's body, but somehow I ended up being... well, a cat. And that sucked. How long was I stuck as that thing?

Every chance I got, I practiced typing as a cat. It was slow, and painful. I fell off the desk multiple times, I kept getting my hands (Paws, whatever you wanna call them...) stuck in between the buttons, and the constant shedding was... don't get me started. Thinking about it is frustrating enough.

I posted some, and it was really hard to figure out other ways to communicate with Shady. Maybe if I had stayed in the cat's body for a longer time period I could have eventually learned to speak, but considering the fact that I hijacked myself a new body...

Oh right, how could I forget to mention my new body. Shady managed to kill a proxy without doing irreparable damage to its body, and I was able to transfer my spirit into it. Haha... ya, it sounds ridiculous. It was very hard explaining all of this to Shady when I got back. We've been talking a lot, and I've been trying to dump all of the information I have from my recent experiences onto paper so she can read over it in her free time. That way, she doesn't have to deal with my rambling fits... and if Thuggee finds me, she'll have my commentary on the supernatural recorded on paper.

Speaking of which, Thuggee will probably be coming to visit soon. I bet he's really PO'd about the whole "Possessing a cat and surviving until now" thing. He'll want to get rid of me ASAP.

You see, this "being possessed" thing goes both ways. Right before I was rejected from my body, I did a lot of subconscious investigation and found some very interesting things out about the Hand of the Gods. I don't think he'll be very happy to know that I know what he doesn't want anybody to know, and soon Shady and everyone else involved in this hellish conspiracy will know. Then... well, then he'll feel less cocky. Maybe.

I'm trying to fit everything into this one post, but I should probably prioritize. The past couple of days I've been stretching the new body out, getting used to the changes and my new thumbs, as well as writing up information concerning Thuggee and the Gods and Slender Man... Oh, and TheAdvocate.

With Thuggee's influence, I had quite a few of my childhood memories returned to me. Now things make a lot more sense! There are still dark places that the Slender Man stole from me, my teenage years have yet to return to me unfortunately, but preteens and before are back. TheAdvocate, I think I have somethings to discuss with you next time we cross paths. I know we will. I know you've been working as Thuggee's replacement for Dodgy, and even if we didn't have a personal score to settle you'd be coming by to stalk Shady eventually.

TheAdvocate and I, we go way back. As some of you may remember, he killed my family while I was living in a dream world fabricated by the Slender Man. He is also the sicko who attacked me in my home long ago when Shady was on the run from the Executor. Isn't it funny how fate brings people back together?

It's a miracle really. Anyways, like I was saying, I've been really busy since getting this new body and I decided to finally sit down and update this old dead blog for anyone who might care about my life. Since I'll be spending so much of my future time writing, I think I should have time to update the Enigma a little more often. Now that I have more answers, maybe I'll actually get somewhere with my writings!

This body is definitely worn, but I'm unbelievably happy to be human again. I'll be keeping that cat around, though. If I need to hop between the two bodies to keep my spirit from getting devoured by Thuggee, so be it. Plus, who knows when being a cat will come in handy??? Haha.

I've got so many scars on my wrist now... This new body is covered in deep razor wounds. I guess the previous owner was at the edge of his sanity for a long time before he finally just gave in and become a hollowed zombie. I've got a scar shaped like the operator symbol over my heart... I took a shower yesterday and it took me some time before I could actually look at the dumb thing without squinting in pain. With clothing on, however, I'll pass for a normal everyday guy. I'm 5'9" now, shorter than my old body was (The one that Thuggee now claims as his own) and I'm already in pretty good shape so all I have to do is keep working out and I should able to hold my own in a fist fight against a proxy, as long as that proxy isn't 6'4".

It feels weird being human again, but it feels even weirder to be a different human... I'll have to get used to it.

Anyways, I just realized what time it is... I need to sleep. I've got a lot of writing to do tomorrow, and my body is still partially recovering from the beat down Shady gave it. I'll write more soon! I'm super excited to be back.

Sorry if this post left you with more answers than questions,
-DoctorProctor

careful

its still out there shady its smells like something dead and looks equally rotten

bad news whatevr it is, i thik it killed somthing out there